This is Week 7 of the NFL season and the second week of this column, offering free-of-charge gambling advice which should be taken by zeroes of people. No, really, this is for educational purposes only. Gambling on sports is, in fact, illegal in 49 of 50 states. Or something.
Last week, as seen here (or just scroll down a little bit) I had an alright debut. Overall I went 9-5, a respectable number, but the headlining pick, a fairly stupid call in hindsight, was the Tampa Bay Buccaneers +3.5, who proceeded to lose 48-17. Ouch.
This week I’ll notify my five Blazin 5 picks with an asterisk*, a term stolen from Colin Cowherd, the gigantic asshat who happens to know a thing or two when it comes to wagering fake money on the NFL.
With that being said, let’s start running through the games. Spreads are locked as of 12:30 PM on Sunday afternoon. HOME TEAMS in CAPS
Cincinnati Bengals +3 over INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
Doing this last minute, so I don’t have the time to throw as many statistics as I’d like to, but I maintain that the Colts are overvalued and overrated. And, multitude of injuries notwithstanding, the Cincinnati Bengals are really, really good. Like, Super Bowl contender good. I think they get back on track this week and pick up a W.
WASHINGTON REDSKINS -6 over Tennessee Titans
This is your weekly installment in gambling against Charlie Whitehurst, starting QB.
CHICAGO BEARS -3.5 over Miami Dolphins*
This is a line I initially loved and have slowly liked less and less as the week has gone on. Still, the line is small enough to combine with the facts that the Bears are both playing at home and are the better team to where I can still take it.
JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS +5 over Cleveland Browns
Well, wish I got the 6 points they were giving away all week, but I suppose I’ll take 5. Blake Bortles has looked halfway decent the past couple of weeks and the Browns, for all of their offensive wares, are fairly pitiful on defense, particularly in the secondary. Alex Mack is hurt, which might limit the run game, and 5 points is a lot of points to give up on the road for a non-elite team like Cleveland. I’m high on the Browns this year, and think they sneak away with a victory, but I’ll take the points in what should be a close game.
Seattle Seahawks -7 over ST. LOUIS RAMS
I can’t believe I’m laying this many points on the road so let’s just move on.
GREEN BAY PACKERS -6 over Carolina Panthers
Woohoo! I lost a point with Jacksonville but am only dropping 6 at Lambeau now instead of 7, where the line stood nearly all week. I hate betting against the Panthers, the most bipolar team in the NFL, and Green Bay hasn’t looked great. But laying less than a touchdown at home is doable.
BALTIMORE RAVENS -7 over Atlanta Falcons
Okay, okay. I was wrong. Like, way wrong. I can’t remember the last time I was so overwhelmingly wrong on a football game I was so confident about, even though a quick jaunt at FootballOutsiders.com would have shown me my mislead ways prior to the game. DVOA has the Ravens as the second best team in football, while the Buccaneers are marooned in the bottom five. I hate laying this many points (again), which seems to be the theme this week, but I’m buying the Ravens.
BUFFALO BILLS -6 over Minnesota Vikings*
More laying points. The exact opposite strategy of last week. Idk.
DETROIT LIONS -1 over New Orleans Saints*
I’m laying a solitary point, this time, and I would lay as many as 5 in this game. New Orleans ain’t the New Orleans Saints of your slightly older brother, especially on the road, and their defense is a disaster. I’m buying the Lions and selling the bejezzus out of the Saints. This was a slum dunk.
Kansas City Chiefs +3.5 over SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
DALLAS COWBOYS -5 over New York Giants*
I’m dying to know how this line dropped two points in 8 hours, from the time I fell asleep (staring at lines, of course) to now, but I’ll take the gift. This game is always close, yes, but this Cowboys team is better than any of the last half dozen years and I’m not entirely sure how good this Giants team is.
OAKLAND RAIDERS +4 over Arizona Cardinals*
Tony Sparano! We believe in you! I’m riding the Derek Carr train, believe the Arizona Cardinals are rather overrated and think the Raiders are gonna win a game sooner rather than later. At home, might as well be this week. And hey, if they can’t squeeze out a W, I’ll take the free four points. Came in handy last week.
San Francisco 49ers +7 over DENVER BRONCOS
I hate this pick. But I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror if I laid a touchdown again. So, backdoor cover, here we go!
Houston Texans +3.5 over PITTSBURGH STEELERS
No clue how good either of these teams are, give me the points.
Season: 9-5 (LW: 9-5)
Blazin 5: N/A (LW: N/A)
Hopefully I can keep up the relative success of last week, with maybe some additional success on the top end of the scale.
PS Go Chiefs